Hope this week finds you happy and filled with sunlight (either from good weather or good feelings). I had a ridiculously productive week (with three essays, hence no posts until today), and it was nice to have a good rhythm this week. I feel like I’ve had my head in a fog the past two weeks and it was really refreshing to feel like I finally had my life together.
As we start a new month, I wanted to share some of the things I learned in the last month, a series that I’m trying to start (and hopefully keep up) on here.
The importance of traveling
This month was one of constant traveling, even within New York. I went from New York to Atlanta, down to North Florida, back up to Atlanta, back up to New York, then to Queens, back to Manhattan, up to Woodstock, back to the city, and then out to Queens and back to the city. I’m currently in Atlanta and then heading back to New York, before going on my last big trip of the spring to Toronto next weekend! (I can’t wait!! I’m going with one of my best friends and I’m so excited to travel with her to a new place and to SEE HER!!!)
In all this crazy traveling and back and forth between New York and Atlanta and Manhattan and Queens, and upstate, it brought me a sense of peace. I got to see spaces that weren’t my usual places, and I was able to feel a sense of freedom in just getting out of the usual rut. My favorite trip so far was going upstate to Woodstock and really spend time away from solid wifi and cell service- I got to spend some great quality time with family and out in fresh air, and it was the perfect reset button.
Keep family close
In the past month, I feel like I’ve bonded more with my family than I have in recent times. My maternal grandfather passed away in mid-March, so we really banded together to support our family, and it was very touching to see how far people were willing to go to lend a hand and to lend a heart. I got to spend a lot of time with my parents and grandma and younger sister, and see a lot of family that I haven’t seen in months or years, and it reaffirmed for me the support system that my family provides me (especially my immediate family!!).
Prioritize yourself – put yourself first, do what you need, and cut out bad people
In my last few weeks of therapy, one thing that’s come up continually is my tendencies within relationships- I tend to be with people who aren’t always the best for me, or maybe who aren’t as giving as I am (and that’s putting it pretty nicely). In March, I came to a tipping point in one particularly “situation-ship” where I really had to put my foot down in a harsh way to stand up for myself, and even though I was upset in the moment, the frustration in that moment came less from losing this person in my life, and more towards myself for letting the behavior go on so long. However, right after I ended things and stood up for myself, I felt cleansed, as though I had taken a really deep, hot, cathartic shower and rid myself of some sort of bad energy holding me back. Sometimes, cutting people out is painful, and in some situations it’s not always possible, but sometimes it’s for the best.
There is always a solution (or alternatively: it'll all be okay) – sometimes your own thoughts cloud you from realizing it.
I’m going to be honest- personally, and health-wise, I’ve had a pretty rough semester so far, and while it hasn’t necessarily reflected directly in my grades, it has influenced my academics. I had a little freak-out in mid-/late March that I wasn’t going to graduate come May, and I decided I needed to meet with the dean to figure out my shit and get my life in order. Turns out, in reality, the chance of me graduating is at about … 100%, save a DISASTER, (which I knew all along, but my anxiety led me to believe wasn’t true). Obviously, I have to work a little harder towards this end of the semester to get my head screwed on right and have the razor thin focus I need to get things done, but in reality I’m okay, and I’m all good to be a college graduate in May (Also, WHAT THE HELL).
Sometimes you have to just DO it
This kind of goes hand in hand with prioritizing yourself, but I had a few moments in March where I was debating back and forth on doing something; whether it was getting out of bed to go do something with friends when I felt lazy, or biting the bullet on booking a trip out of town, or sending in a request that put me outside of my comfort zone, where I realized, I just needed to stop hemming and hawing and just do it. That’s how I made the decision to book my trip to Toronto, and my trip to Atlanta this weekend. Sometimes you need to stop listening to your inner debate and just go for it, and sometimes you need to tune other people out to just make a decision of your own volition.
I hope y'all enjoyed a little bit of insight into my life and into what March has given me in terms of personal development and a lil' bit of self awareness. What did March teach you?