I feel like I spend a wholllllle lot of time on this blog waxing poetic about this beautiful idea of confidence, when I never really talk about where this whole self-love idea comes from.
I've been grappling with where the idea of self worth comes from lately, as I deal with fluctuations in moods, weight, and other things that just come with the ups and downs of life. I've found that personally, my own confidence comes less from myself, and more from the world around me- something that I've always known isn't great, but something that I'd actually like to change moving into my 21st year. I've found that my mood always is better from external validation, whether it's from friends, romantic interests or family, and that it rarely comes from any sort of self-based affirmation. However, I don't know that this confident spike in my mood is directly related to my self-worth. I try to think of confidence and an idea of internal self worth as two separate but related ideas, where confidence is what you're proud of on a day to day basis, whereas self-worth is more of like the actions and personality traits that you're proud to embody long term. For example- I'm confident in my body on some days, and less so on others. I'm confident in my loving nature on some days, and some days I feel that it hinders me in the dating world. However, I always find a strong sense of self worth when I look at my work ethic, my motivation and my drive. These are traits that have pushed me as far as I am today (along with a whollllle lot of support and luck), and ones that I don't necessarily have to make an action toward on a daily basis, but ones that I can embody through most, but not all of my actions. I feel that I'm most confident in my actions and behavior, even without external validation, but I just wonder where the idea of self-worth comes from in each different person. Where does your self worth come from?